When I decided to become a coach I thought it was all about having the best drills and knowing, by heart, the coaching cues needed for that drill. There was a time when I wasn’t in a position to fully commit to becoming a coach, sometimes life gets in the way and then we went into lockdown 1. But now with all this free time to study, I set about learning all I could about coaching. All my time was spent on sites like the coaches voice and youtube, religiously making notes and jotting down drills and practices. I was certain I could get anyone to play great football.
Fast forwards to the summer of this year and I’m ready to go. I’ve got the perfect drill and I’ve remembered all my cues. And, really it didn’t go too badly for my first session. But I felt I needed more. It wasn’t until I remembered the lessons I’d been learning from the High Performance Podcast. One of the phrases that sticks out and sadly I cant remember who said it but ‘I don’t coach footballers, I coach people who play football’. That phrase alone has started to shape my own coaching philosophy.
So, how do you coach people instead of footballers? The answer? Relationships. You get to know them, personally. Find out why they play, who their favourite teacher is, what their dogs called, what their parents do, favourite team or player, what other sports they like, in-fact, the list is endless. The second part to that is, care about it. Care about the things they like, ask them about it, remember what they said and sometimes, go out of your way to learn about something they like. Another great quote ‘a child won’t let you care for them until they know you care about them’. I’m speaking more specifically about youth football but this all applies to adults too, in the sense that you still need to care about people.
Regardless of age group, everyone has their own problems and their own personal experience in life. And this is why if you only coach football, you miss out on a massive chance to influence the whole of the person. This is the privilege we as coaches must earn. Sean Wane, England rugby coach details how if he noticed a player wasn’t performing or acting out of character, he would chat to them about their personal life. He detailed how on one occasion he actually stopped by unannounced at a players house, to have a chat, ask how they were to show how much he cared. Recently John Terry gave an interview about how Dean Smith influenced him. He tells the story how he was about to absolutely tune in a player for his lack of performance until Dean Smith told him to ask about his family life. From there he found out he had home issues and once he was given understanding, empathy and some time off he came back a new player.
Relationships are vital to great coaching and sadly too many coaches miss out on this opportunity to connect with someone in favour of a ‘I’m the leader and you’ll do as I say’ approach. Don’t miss out on this chance. Get to know your players and watch their faces light up when they see how much you care. And then cherish the relationship that follows, always use it for good and notice learning opportunities increase.
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